Apparently I’m drunk again

No. It’s for real. I’m on it. I’ve glimpsed the truth and I hate it. I really really hate it, from pinkie to dandruff, I bloody hate it. I’d love to see good win against evil, I’d love to see things always work out in the end – that’s just in those bloody films from at least a decade ago, lately there’s a new trend: the hero dies. Continue reading

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Me, the logical suspect

Oh for the love of bacon, if I don’t have any social media presence I’m on the bloody black list? Seems legit. In any case, I’ll be wishing one startup a quick tumble, a couple of slaps on the noggin from their parents and lots of public outrage, even though I’m quite sure that’s not going to happen. For the record, I don’t even have internet on my phones, let alone Facebook, Twitter or other crap like that. It’s idiots like these I fear more than the NSA snooping on my emails, bloody hell. And they’d just love to make that one mandatory, apparently, because “well, you have nothing to hide now, do you?”.. I foresee a bright future for myself, chopping wood in Siberia. Jesus, Mary an’ Joseph, they’re that dumb. Wait, wait, I got something. I do have a future job lined up for me, after all, bloody messing with social media and getting paid for it, making people look like Gandhi. Dear Idiocracy script writers and film producers, that was supposed to be science fiction not a bloody documentary..

10 ways to fail in life (with sarcasm and booze)

               I have to write this down, before I forget it. Why? Because I imagine that I will. You know what makes or breaks everybody even before they give it a try? Imagination. They don’t picture themselves as if they’ve succeeded. So here’s to number one on the list: Continue reading

Some people

… just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair… (Disclaimer: quote source highly controversial, so… whatever. Shush!).

Proof: here. But that thing also feel like sarcasm, if you’re ignoring the lesser known Murphy law of efficient effort (if you try hard enough, you put your foot up your own arse). Obviously, Pyrrhus of Epirus is no longer required reading in school, since the sarcastic ones don’t understand lawyers and fundamentalist book-burners have no sense of humor. By all means, let’s get rrrrreadyyy to baaannn… To the bloody john with y’all.

Well, there it is

… once again, I managed to completely miss humor in my stories. Damn! Continue reading