Well, they ain’t wrong

This here is something you oughta do, go watch The Founder an’ fuck everybody else. Brains? Overrated. Literacy? Overrated. Potential? Fuck that, that’s what losers think they have. No. None of that shit. Persistence. You wanna make it big? Persistence is the key. Fuck everybody else.

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Bugs, bugs everywhere!

               Microsoft Outlook’s reading pane, at random intervals, usually after starting the program or changing folders, started displaying messages with blank bodies in reading pane. Blank? Nah, that’d be too easy. I meant invisible content, hidden body which only becomes visible after scrolling or typing. At random. Small body of message? Tough luck, had to change to a message I could scroll through then back and hope for a miracle. New messages hid the signature until I started typing the content. I had to scroll down the body of a reply to get it to appear. Even stranger was the fact that the content, text and pictures were totally selectable and yet, still invisible. I’ve tried everything, from removing addons to disabling hardware accelerated rendering and manually selecting stationery colors and still it didn’t work. Reinstalling didn’t work. Repairing didn’t work. But now there’s a fix. You see, html rendering in Outlook 2013+ is done using Word engine – and there it hit me like a bird on my office window (and no, it’s not a joke, that thing happens to me at least once a week, scares the living crap out of me): Word is bugged. No, not that one, Microsoft Office Word. This one. Go drink some more coffee, sleepy head. So here’s the thing that fixed my problem, in all its glory:

Microsoft Fixit for resetting Word user options and registry settings.

               I sleep better now. A heckuv-a-lot better. If I could, I’d give that team a medal for this fixit. I’ll just drink a couple of beers in your health, folks, instead.

               Cortana, that loving voice, can’t bloody do much. Hell, if voice recognition was better I could write a better interpreter for it. Unfortunately I still can’t make her understand when I tell her to lock the computer – it’s either log, look or something else. There doesn’t seem to be much AI interpreting, only recognition of programmed phrases (like that “tell me a joke” thing I use every morning) – maybe my Scottish impression of “joke” throws her off. Also there’s the problem of accessing the microphone on my laptop, she pops up on “hey Cortana” which means she heard me, but then closes the mic faster than I can open my mouth again and lovingly annoys me with the “I didn’t hear anything” response. Realtek integrated mics are bloody crap. However, if that’s the present then we have a long way to go in order to reach Jarvis levels. Like from Earth to Planet X on foot, long. And it bugs me. Also I can’t script some of her responses, which could improve things by a billion in my book – even if it were to be local scripting. Yeah, that also bugs me.

               In other news, Bruce Schneier (yeah, him, inventor of Cryptonomicon’s Pontifex/Solitaire) has some scary news – internet infrastructure is being probed for weaknesses and it’s getting worse by the minute.  Updated: his blog post. What does that mean? Well, if they succeed, there’ll be plenty of angry mobs taking to the streets because they can’t access Facebook, Twitter and other crap – but I’m more worried about the gamers since almost every game there is, even single player games, won’t run unless they have access to “mothership” servers and we all know who is behind Anonymous and Gamergate. Yeah, lots of mostly teens with lots of free time, skewed priorities and moral codes, cult-like cloned identities and massively inflated egos every time the media mentions their cult group.  Anyways, shit happens, deal with it. Though ima joining them if I can’t get my daily dose of 9gag. Heck, who else? Housewives who can’t post baby pictures or share terrifyingly fake conspiracy theories on Facebook? Blah, blah, blah. But 9gag? Nobody touches that and lives.

Post scriptum: Next post? The plague of our time, refugees. Maybe. Anyways, anybody wonders why there aren’t many refugee-related crimes up in Greece as there are in say France or Germany? Right now, my answer would be: “you don’t shit where you eat”. If Greece walls up, nobody gets into Europe. Hell, that’s done! No need for another article about it. So, next article: white, dry wine. The sort that sucks the moisture out of the air when poured. Oh yeah, baby!

Crazy people

            Well, of course I’m pissed, I feel like a bloody mushroom covered in shit. It’s easy to have strong opinions on things neither you nor the person you’re talking to can control. It’s very much like xenophobia, nationalism or religion – you get to feel proud for things you haven’t done and you get to hate people you haven’t met. Everybody has opinions, every adult can talk your ears off on subjects such as football, racism, terrorism, abortions, gay rights, economics, espionage and politics. Who in the right mind would honestly say “bugger me if I know..” in such esteemed company? Yeah, me, that’s who. Also the statement stands, because I’m working on one piston with no lubrication an’ me gears are a wee bit crooked, actually more than that, I wager. Continue reading

Me, the logical suspect

Oh for the love of bacon, if I don’t have any social media presence I’m on the bloody black list? Seems legit. In any case, I’ll be wishing one startup a quick tumble, a couple of slaps on the noggin from their parents and lots of public outrage, even though I’m quite sure that’s not going to happen. For the record, I don’t even have internet on my phones, let alone Facebook, Twitter or other crap like that. It’s idiots like these I fear more than the NSA snooping on my emails, bloody hell. And they’d just love to make that one mandatory, apparently, because “well, you have nothing to hide now, do you?”.. I foresee a bright future for myself, chopping wood in Siberia. Jesus, Mary an’ Joseph, they’re that dumb. Wait, wait, I got something. I do have a future job lined up for me, after all, bloody messing with social media and getting paid for it, making people look like Gandhi. Dear Idiocracy script writers and film producers, that was supposed to be science fiction not a bloody documentary..