Notes to self (003)

               Anything marketing itself as “Uber for …” or “Keurig for…” is not worth buying. If it were game-changing, it’d have made itself a brand, if branding/marketing is in error then maybe its price is bogus too, and if it is neither game-changing nor is its brand unwillingly chosen that way, then it’s already on the way out. Clones don’t live that long and by attaching itself to something else that’s either famous or pricey it tries to brainwash you into making the illogical connection that it is worth its price (hint: remember Adibas?). A good product is always defined, marketed or branded as adding value for the customer, as fulfilling some need, desire, design or affordability for a certain target population. A good brand always makes itself the center of marketing – you don’t want to give other products free advertising, you want to advertise your own product. That’s why nothing (that I know of, but hey, I can be bribed, right?) can convince me any product willingly marketing itself as a clone of “insert famous brand here” but for another market is anything else than a really good Adibass clone. Or Mike. Or Doce Cabbana. Or Panasoanic. Or Reedbook. Or Nokla. Oh yes, yes, yes.. So forget those and let’s eat something. Oh crap! I just remembered they managed to fake eggs once or twice. Dang.

Post scriptum:

               Cows are mad (mad, you hear?) from all that milking and no nooky, fish is turning itself willingly into sushi by overdosing on mercury and then painted to look fresh, pigs are filthy thus rabid, sheep need shearing and that hurts their feelings, chickens keep sneezing on account of avian flu, fruits and veggies are coughed upon by the gods of insecticides and herbicides, corn and other cereal are downright GMO-ttic, eggs are fake and made of plastic, no wonder we’re all going dumber and hungrier by the minute. Well, I’m going to down a couple of shots of whiskey because there’s a couple of things inside me that need killing. Besides, I ain’t going to get sick anyhoo, even bacteria and viruses have their pride. Prosit!

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